16 Conclusions as England win Group C despite themselves: what does Southgate do now?
England have won Group C and are safely into a knockout game against a third-place lucky loser in the easier half of the draw. It’s all going well, then…
16 Conclusions
16 Conclusions on England drawing with Denmark: Southgate out, awful Alexander-Arnold, rubbish Rice
England were miserably awful against Denmark and Gareth Southgate must be on the way out, along with midfielder Trent Alexander-Arnold. That was Algeria bad.
Jude Bellingham’s England (just) beat Serbia: 16 Conclusions on an unnecessarily nervy opener
England won but they were sloppy in a second half when control went out of the window. Thankfully, England have Jude Bellingham and he is mint.
16 Conclusions on Germany 5-1 Scotland: Predictably hopeless Scots, Souness, Musiala and…Radhi Jaidi
Scotland bad, Germany good, Graeme Souness hilarious. A miserable Scot has wiped his tears to give us 16 Conclusions on the Euro 2024 opener.
16 Conclusions on Man City 1-2 Man Utd: Ten Hag future, De Bruyne, Haaland and Rodri awful, Fernandes phenomenal
Erik ten Hag has somehow made things even worse for Man Utd by winning the actual FA Cup; Kevin De Bruyne, Erling Haaland and Manchester City were awful.
16 Conclusions on England’s Euro 2024 squad: Rashford, Henderson, alarming defensive gaps, absurd attacking strength
Who thought Gareth Southgate was about to leave Jordan Henderson and Marcus Rashford out of a 33-man England squad? Put your hands down you liars.
16 Conclusions on Spurs 0-2 Man City: City almost there after Son miss, Ange meltdown and lots of weirdness
Manchester City have one hand on a fourth straight Premier League trophy after a pretty weird 2-0 win at a very weird Tottenham Hotspur Stadium.
16 Conclusions on Manchester United 0-1 Arsenal: Saliba, Casemiro, Partey, Garnacho, Trossard, Amad
Arsenal were not great but Saliba dragged them through; Casemiro, Garnacho and Ten Hag having no Manchester United answer without Bruno Fernandes helped.
16 Conclusions on Salah, Ange, Elliott and the brilliant fun of Liverpool 4 Tottenham 2
We’re going to miss Jurgen Klopp for the batsh*t brilliance Liverpool produce under him, while Spurs can still rescue this season.
16 Conclusions on Chelsea 2-0 Tottenham: Harrowingly bad from Spurs, good enough from Chelsea
We honestly think Spurs played better against Chelsea when they had nine players and none of them were playing in defence.
16 Conclusions from Spurs 2-3 Arsenal: Stupidity, set-pieces, perfect outcomes and inverted centre-backs
In which we ponder how a NLD with so many predictable elements – not least its outcome – was in fact one of the most hard-to-explain games this season.
16 Conclusions on Arsenal 5-0 Chelsea: Odegaard, White; Caicedo and Mudryk humbled; Cole Palmer FC
Chelsea can hijack all the transfers they want but without that Arsenal structure it is pointless. Mikel Arteta might have just put Mauricio Pochettino down.
16 Conclusions on Man City 1-0 Billion-pound bottle jobs: Chelsea laughable, Guardiola complains, Jackson
Nicolas Jackson reached peak form as Chelsea were laughably wasteful against a knackered Man City. But there is a problem with Pep Guardiola’s complaints.
16 Conclusions from Newcastle 4-0 Spurs: Van de Ven, Gordon, Isak, and some very silly numbers
Spurs suffered their most humiliating trip to Newcastle in almost a year on a day where Micky van de Ven alone could have accounted for 12 conclusions.
16 Conclusions on Man Utd 2-2 Liverpool: Arrogance, Fernandes, Elliott, title race, Allardyce, Amad
It should shame Liverpool not to have beaten Manchester United this season. But Bruno Fernandes always gives Erik ten Hag – or Sam Allardyce – a chance.
16 Conclusions on Chelsea 4-3 Man Utd: Ten Hag sack, Palmer saves Poch, Casemiro and Caicedo awful
Cole Palmer saved Mauricio Pochettino’s Chelsea job. Antony and Alejandro Garnacho tried to do the same for Erik ten Hag but he is done at Manchester United.
16 Conclusions on Man City 0-0 Arsenal: Rodri, Rice, ‘League Two’ Haaland, Liverpool and Pulis the big winners
If defences win you titles then Manchester City and Arsenal proved why they are contenders. But the Gunners or ‘League Two’ Erling Haaland could have won it.
16 Conclusions on Man Utd 4-3 Liverpool: Ten Hag consequences, Klopp’s mistakes, Amad madness
If Erik ten Hag is not the right manager for Manchester United, then even a mental, last-gasp win over Liverpool should not alter that. Especially since Liverpool blew it…
16 Conclusions on Survival Saturday: Embarrassing Toney, Chelsea loanee shines, Forest flounder, late Luton
The Ivan Toney Self-Auction Tour is getting a little embarrassing, Nottingham Forest are their own worst enemy, Burnley sub subs and Luton will not die.
16 Conclusions on Liverpool 1-1 Man City: Diaz vs Walker, De Bruyne sulks, Haaland beats Van Dijk
Manchester City escaped from Anfield with a point after a second-half hiding which saw Luis Diaz shine but ultimately cost Liverpool the win. This title race is going to the wire.
16 Conclusions on Manchester City 3-1 Man Utd: Ten Hag sack, phenomenal Foden, rubbish Rashford
Erik ten Hag was begging to be sacked by Man Utd with those surrendering substitutions, with Phil Foden and Marcus Rashford having different evenings.
16 Conclusions on Chelsea 0-1 Liverpool: Van Dijk greatness, kids, injuries, underdogs and… Carabao BEER?
Virgil van Dijk completed a superb captain’s performance with a goal that seemed it would never come to get the Klopp Farewell Trophy Tour up and running.
16 Conclusions on Arsenal 4-1 Newcastle: Jorginho, Guimaraes, Rice nonsense, Havertz, Howe
Arsenal produced one of the best Premier League halves in recent memory to bully Newcastle. Vindication for Mikel Arteta, but embarrassing for Eddie Howe.
16 Conclusions on Manchester City 1-1 Chelsea: Awful Haaland and Walker but Pochettino messes up
Darwin Nunez got one over on Erling Haaland, Axel Disasi and Nicolas Jackson were superb for Chelsea and Kyle Walker was comically bad for Manchester City.
16 Conclusions from Arsenal 3-1 Liverpool: Alisson-Van Dijk disasterclass has Gunners dreaming again
Virgil van Dijk and Alisson will not have fond memories of this one, while Arsenal were very good indeed. Feels like City might be the big winners, though.
16 Conclusions on Newcastle 2-3 Man City: De Bruyne’s back so everyone else is probably doomed
A great slice of Barclays at St James’ Park ends with Newcastle not the only ones feeling deflated by the sight of Kevin De Bruyne at his brilliant best.
16 Conclusions on Liverpool 1-1 Arsenal: Saliba, Rice, Odegaard’s handball, Klopp’s substitutions
Liverpool and Arsenal were phenomenal defensively with wasteful, stuttering attacks undermining any hope of striking a title blow. A point apiece was fair.
16 Conclusions on Liverpool 0-0 Manchester United: Nunez, Varane, Neville, Onana, Dalot’s red
Jamie Carragher and Gary Neville providing most of the amusement at Anfield was damning of the latest classic served up by Liverpool and Manchester United.
Aston Villa 1-0 Arsenal: 16 Conclusions on the Prem title favourites and the team they beat
If you weren’t already, it’s probably time to take Aston Villa seriously as legitimate Premier League title challengers. But Arsenal should have won that.
16 Conclusions as Spurs mug Manchester City yet again in another episode of Etihad madness
How can the best team in the world have Tottenham as their bogey team? It makes no sense, and nor did a wild 3-3 draw between Manchester City and Spurs ...